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October 06, 2005

Accept perception gap

We experience the Universe through five (or six) senses.

Therefore, even if we see the same thing or hear the same sound, each of us experiences it in a different way in the strictest sense. Everyone knows this - even small children. However, in reality, we forget about it in our daily life.

Let’s say the food tastes bad.

It is possible to think that the food itself tastes bad. However, sometimes we feel the food tastes because of our own poor physical condition.

Or if we eat a meal with someone with whom we do not feel joy, we cannot taste the food.

If we doubt our five (or six) senses, we cannot utilise our daily life.

However, we need to know that we cannot say our own feelings are fact .

For your information, if you understand this principle about food, your home becomes very peaceful. :-)

I got an invitation to dinner the other day. At that exclusive restaurant, a lady who was sitting at another table made a complaint about the dish.

The lady said, “I cannot have dinner in such a yucky restaurant.”

When the other guests heard her complaint, they looked displeased.

It might be true that the lady felt that the cooking was yucky. However, her feeling is not true for everyone.

She was not considerate to the others.

If we think, “My own feeling is fact ”, we tend to think like this.

The cause of bad human relationships is that each of us insists own feeling is absolute and correct.
I saw “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” at the theater the other day.

After the movie, I saw a couple who were arguing about the content of the movie.

It seemed that the man’s viewpoint and the woman’s viewpoint were different and each of them held their ground. Therefore, their argument escalated into a big fight.

If they accepted their partner’s feelings such as “Oh, there is another point of view”, they could watch movie with enjoyment…

I felt sorry for them.

However, it was not about the movie, we tend to do same thing as this case in other situations too.

When I visited a company, I heard such a conversation between a boss and a worker.

Boss: “Why do you cower under me so much? Are you afraid me?”

Worker: “(answers fearfully) Yes, I am afraid of you.”

Boss: “I am not such a scary person. Why do you feel that way?”

Worker: “…”

How do you feel about this conversation? (:-)

It is important to realize that your own feelings and others’ feelings are different. And it is also important to accept others’ feelings first.

Sometimes, you need to correct others’ feelings but still it is important to accept others’ feeling first.

Let’s practice together.

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