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July 28, 2005

Reserve the option to “wait” until others change

When we face a problem, we try to find a solution as soon as possible. This may seem necessary, but sometimes this is not the best way to solve your problem.

For example, let’s say you have a problem in a relationship. If you are desperate to perform fence-mending at any cost, the relationship often becomes worse.

Or, let’s say you make a blunder in your work, and as a result, trust and recognition of your ability was reduced. If you are desperate to regain that trust and recognition, you might fall even further.

Let’s say your children, students, or followers have an attitude problem. If you are desperate to solve the problem, the situation may become even worse.

We human beings always feel the need to do something right away when something bad happens. This is because we want to escape from being in the negative situation. We want to remove this unwanted situation as soon as possible. This state of mind causes impatience. And impatience causes us to misjudge what is the correct course of action.

We have all had this kind of experience.

There is an ultimate way to solve a problem, and that is “to wait”. When the situation will just get worse by forcing the action, it is important to step back, look at the situation, and just wait.

However, “wait” does not mean to walk out on a problem. Always extend Ki to the problem, giving it your attention as much as possible, and wait calmly. Usually the situation will change naturally. “Time is on your side in many cases”.

To be able to wait, we need a strong mind, that is, the state of calmness in our mind. If ()our mind becomes even a little weak, then we will feel we need to do something to feel at ease.

As stated in the above example, when you have a problem in human relationship, not only apologize to other person, but be sure to change what you have done wrong. Then it is important to wait until other person’s state of mind changes. If you want the other person to forgive you first, and forget to correct yourself, the relationship will be worse.

When you make a blunder in your work and you feel that the trust and recognition of your ability has come down, it is important to change your wrong attitude, and not just through words. It is useless to exert yourself to please others around you in an effort to correct their bad impression of you . Instead, just wait. It might take some time, but this is actually the fastest way to recover your trust and recognition.

When your children, students, or followers have an attitude problem, it is important for you to treat them with positive mind and wait until they realize their mistake by themselves. We need some time to realize things. Therefore, it is important to await their realization. If you try to change others as you wish, the situation will always get worse.

Some people may be worried, “Even if I wait and wait, if other person does not change, what should I do?” This way of thinking is the biggest reason why it is difficult for you to wait.

I will repeat, because this is important; “wait” does not mean to walk out on a problem. You should not try to change others first, but you do whatever you can, and wait until other person’s realization changes. Just as with your state of mind, others state of mind also need some time to change.

By learning to calm your mind in your daily life, you will be able to control your mind, and you will always have the option to wait.

Let’s study together.

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July 21, 2005

Define meaning of the words clearly

The other day, a kindly member told me that one of our staff had a bad attitude. I confirmed the truth and I found that as the member had told me, the staff did have a bad attitude. I apologized to the member and then I spoke with the staff.

However, the staff could not understand his mistake and he could not accept his fault. Finally, he realized his fault, but I realized a very important thing through this experience.

What I realized was that my definition of the word "respond" and his were different.

First, the staff said "I always do my best to meet a wide variety of member' demands." Even if he did his best, if his attitude made our members feel bad, then it cannot be said that he meets our members' demands sincerely. I thought his argument was very selfish. However, I listened to his argument further. And I found that he has a wrong idea.

I define "respond" as "to act before the members demand something". Therefore, it is quite expected to meet the members' demand if they actually request something of you. However, I try to feel our members' Ki (mind) and act before they request something of me. In another words, it is important to always send Ki to our members and realize their needs in advance.

On the other hand, the staff defined "respond" as meaning to act when he was requested something from members. If we hear "If you request, I will do it sincerely", it sounds good. However, in this case it can also be said "I will not act unless you do not have a request." Therefore, the staff was moved passively by our members' request and did not try to catch our members' request.

In this case, it cannot be said that Ki is extending. The member let me know the staff's bad behavior. This means the staff did not send Ki and act positively.

I have told our staff to be courteous at all times. However, the staff misunderstood the meaning of "respond". Even if I told it to our staff correctly in words, if the staff misunderstood the meaning of the words, then I did not convey the meaning to the staff. Through this experience, I realized it is important to confirm if the person really understands not only the form of the meaning, but the Ki (mind).

Japanese often use the word, "Do your best". If you clarify how to do your best, you can use your mind clearly.

"I have told you, but why have you never done this?" You may have this kind of situation in your office. Instead of blaming others for not doing something properly, it is important to confirm that the other person understood your words correctly in the first place.

This is one of the example of Ki in daily life.

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July 14, 2005

Sending Ki to your family

A husband came to me recently for a consultation about his marriage. I have been married for four years and I would like to help him somehow, so, I listened his talk.

He said his marriage was falling apart.

First he said that he could not stand his wife's attitude. However, he also acknowledged himself that he did not think about family and he only worked.

He wanted to talk about his putting his marriage back together again. But since they had no communication, neither of them could not find a way to mend the broken fences. He was very disappointed and had begun to think that the only solution was to get a divorce.

In Japanese we have a saying, "Even a dog will not eat the quarrel of a husband and wife". Therefore, I did not put my nose into their quarrel but I told him to attend my Ki class.

The theme of my class that time was to understand the difference between oneness of mind and body and separation of mind and body. Then, I taught that it is important to send Ki to your partner whatever you do.

I let him experience the difference between oneness of mind and body and separation of oneness of mind and body through the example of greetings and conversations. After these experiences, he exclaimed, "Oh! I understood!"

After the class, I talked with him. He said that he did his very best to listen to his wifeユs talk, but in his mind, he was thinking "That's a bother." He did not send ki to his wife.

His wife would get mad and they would start to quarrel when his attitude was like this.

And when he left home in the morning, he would say "I'm going to work." However, when he said this, he never looked at his wife nor nor did he send Ki to her.

Gradually, his wife did not take him to the door.

The husband then realized for himself that he did only the form of the action but did not actually send Ki to his wife. This is why he suddenly spoke up during the class.

In addition, I told him to "Change your self first before waiting for others to change". He said, "I understand".

One month later...

The husband sent me an email.
He said that by sending Ki to his wife when he listened to her talking, greeting her, eating her cooking, he could have conversations with her again.

It seems that they decided not to get divorce.

"To send Ki" is so simple that most everyone knows this, but they do not take action.

By sending Ki to each other, we can communicate with Ki (Mind).

Your communication will change dramatically by sending Ki. I realized it again through this episode.

This is the teaching that I passed on to the husband at the Tochigi Ki seminar. If you have a chance, please attend this seminar.

Let's send Ki to everything we do.

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July 12, 2005

Q&A (July 12, 2005)

【Question】

I am a mother who has a daughter in elementary school. I always enjoy reading your weblog with my child, who is learning Aikido. I started reading your articles for her at the beginning, but now I know I am the one who really needs it.

After reading, I have got a question about the words, “Oneness of mind and body” and “Ki is extending”. I think I know the meaning of them, but I cannot really explain what they mean and the differences between them.

I want to explain them to my daughter, and so would you please teach me on your site? It would be really kind, if you would make glossaries of your words for beginners like me someday.

【Answer】

Thank you for reading my weblog. You know, “Oneness of mind and body” and “Ki is extending” mean the same thing.

“Oneness of mind and body” shows that the mind and the body are one. However we know they are originally one, but we tend to use them separately in our daily life.

For example, when we go out, we sometimes cannot remember whether we have locked the door or not. If we use our mind and lock the door, we can be so sure that we have locked it. If we think of something else and lock the door, we cannot picture the scene in our memory.

“Oneness of mind and body” is the state in which we use our mind clearly and move our body. On the other hand, when we do not use our mind clearly, and just move our body, our mind and body are separated. Now you know that it is very important to use your mind positively.

Koichi Tohei sensei defines that the state you use your mind positively is same as “Ki is extending”.

Do not be fuzzy, and be clear. This is my answer for you. Hope this helps.
I will try making glossaries with my writing. Please give me some time. !(^^)!

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July 10, 2005

Teaching Ki seminar in Tochigi (July 2005)

I conducted a Ki seminar in Tochigi today. This month's theme was "Ki and business". My teaching especially focused on communication in the business.

I introduced a company that applied Ki principles to their office work. I taught the Ki principles to participants of the Ki seminar. The participants experienced the Ki principles. I taught how to apply Ki in their daily lives.

Morning class

1. Mind moves body.
Mind and body are originally one. It is important to use your mind positively and use both mind and body. The state of oneness of mind and body is called "Shin-shin ichinyo" in Japanese. If we extend Ki to each other, our Ki exchanges naturally.

2. Exchange of Ki
I introduced a company. The workers greet coworkers with Ki in the office. By greeting with Ki, they avoid mistakes in the middle of work.

The most important practice to exchange Ki is to greet each other with Ki. This "greeting" means you greet people positively. If someone greets you and you greet them in return, your greeting is not greeting but a reply in this case. By sending Ki through greetings, you will know other's state of mind and body.

3. Change yourself first before expecting others to change
I introduced a manager who is applying Ki principles at his office. He does not wait to have reports from workers but goes to the scene and listens directly to the worker. In this way, the manager was able to improve the communication between himselfe and the workers.

4. Show through by actions, not throughe words.
A manager wanted to change unpunctual workers. He did not give workers words of warning about it, but he came to office first and changed the unpunctual workers.

It is impossible to teach others the right way by using words. If you actually do the correct thing, then others will understand the correct thing correctly. Especially, when the problem is caused by your own behavior in the past it will not be solved by words. Mind and body are one. Use of your mind means you use body. This means that "using mind" means do not think, but act.

5. To see the personユs present behavior.
If you cling to the others' past impression, you will not be able to see others' present state. It is important to see the others' action now not cling to what the others said in the past.

6. Do not imagine anothers' place but put yourself in others place.
I introduced an example of communication between workers. When they took the same actions as others, rather than just imagineing them, the workers understood each other more.

"Imagine another's place" means to see the others place from own point of view. "Put yourself in another's placeモ means to act as if you are in the others place. It is important to understand the differences.

7. sharing concept of values
There is a company in which workers define the technical words to share the concept of values and prevent from misunderstandings between boss and workers and between departments.

By sharing the concept of values, each of the workers are be able to use their minds clearly. Take the words "report" or "service", sometimes those words' definition is different for each person. If we use the same word as different meaning, there will be misunderstanding. It is important to check the definition and share the concept of values.

8. Ki study is to practice and validate
Ki is invisible. Therefore, it is essential to practice and validate. Sometimes, knowledge is easy to forget. However, your realization through your own experiences cannot be taken and these are your belongings.

In the afternoon

To solve stiff shoulders and backache, I taught correct posture. In addition, through neck movement of oneness rhythm exercise, we checked natural position of the neck and head.

I teach Ki principles at Tochigi Ki seminar every month with a different theme. This is a workshop. The participants are able to experience Ki and deepen their realization of Ki.

Next, we have Ki seminar in Tochigi on August 21 (Sunday). The theme is "Ki and calligraphy, Ki and tea ceremony".

I will teach you how to apply Ki in calligraphy and tea ceremony. I will invite calligraphy teacher who is Mr. Tadao Ishikawa. He teaches Ki and calligraphy at Ki-Aikido school.

I am looking forward to seeing you next month. I will be able to accept a limited number of participants this time. Therefore, I recommend you to apply as soon as possible.

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July 08, 2005

PS: Las Vegas seminar

I had a dinner meeting with the Las Vegas seminar committee members at the famous Japanese restaurant NOBU which is located in the HARD ROCK HOTEL. With the peaceful atmosphere, the food was creative and so delicious. I found that Mr. Nicolas Cage who is a Hollywood actor was also having a dinner near our table! This is Las Vegas :)

During the Las Vegas seminar, there was no seminar during the night. I fostered a closer relationship with members and sometimes went to the bar. The banquet was held one night. I am very surprised each time, but the US Chief instructors are great entertainers! Besides Ki-Aikido, each of them has professional skills. They performed them at the banquet.

After the Las Vegas seminar, the committee staff took us to the "BLUE MAN GROUP" It's very famous in the US. The show was so bizarre that we could not imagine it in Japan. I was chosen from hundreds in the audience to go up on stage. I was almost crying :) I was chosen so often in this kind of show. After all, there was nothing extreme about me, but other people who were picked out were very extreme.

I had a day off after the seminar. I had a lunch with my important friend at the hotel called THE VENETIAN. After that, I took a walk and went shopping with my wife. After that, we went to the show called "KA". This show is said to be the best show in the Las Vegas. I was lucky to get the tickets. The show was so exciting and surprising. I talked about it with my wife all night long :)

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Well, Las Vegas is well known for casinos. I tried the slot machines for just a short time. First time, I bet $1 on the slot machine at the hotel, THE hotel at MANDALAY BAY. $1 became $70. In addition to that, I tried slot machine at the airport because our airplane departed late. I bet a few dollars but it became $67.75. My wife said "When you win, it is time to stop". Therefore, this was the end of my casino experience.

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I spent about 10 minutes at the casino. But I could increase my money. It was just like Las Vegas that there are slot machines inside the airport.

Besides the seminar, I had a really good time. I really appreciate all the committee staff.

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July 07, 2005

More on "Put yourself in your opponent's place"

I told you that to "Put yourself in your opponent's place" means to "move into action" in last weeks weblog. And it is not just an idea. I have received a great response from many people. And they all wanted to know how to apply this in their daily life. Therefore, I will tell you more about how to "put yourself in your opponent's place".

The specific action of "putting yourself in your opponent's place" is to understand and know your opponent.

I am sure that you know some people whom you think are disagreeable individuals. If a person says something negative, or is unconcerned about you, or steps on your goodwill, you will not want to be around this person. If you do not have to socialize with this person, you might not need to see them, but most of the time, these disagreeable individuals are your boss or your neighbors, and you cannot escape from interacting with them in your daily life.

It tends to be very stressful if we have to spend time with disagreeable people. We will do our best to spend less time with these people. We even try not to speak to them. However, this is the best way to make human relations worse, because avoidance means not sending Ki to the other person. And this means a definite breakdown in communication. As a result, it will become very difficult for you to understand the disagreeable personユs mind. If you do not send Ki to this person, then you cannot realize anything about them.

However, instead, we can apply the principle of "Putting yourself in your opponent's place".

It is important to send Ki to another even if you do not like that person. The specific action is to know the person by sending Ki. By sending Ki, we can know the person's background, their beliefs, and their state of mind. If you understand these things, you will naturally understand why the person says or acts a certain way.

Once you start to understand the person, you will have breadth of mind even if that person has not changed. In other words, this does not mean to change the other person, but to change yourself. As a result of this change in yourself, the personユs mind and actions will become plus gradually. I have seen many cases like this. This is one example of the Universal mind.

Let's confirm the point which is easy to misunderstand.

First, "change yourself" does not mean that you start to love a minus thing. The real meaning is to accept the minus and change it into plus. If you feel minus is plus, it is a problem.

Second, even if you do your best to understand the disagreeable individual, but the person never changes, you can choose not to go out with the person. If you know this, you will be able to have breadth of mind and you can always make your best effort.

Let's practice together.

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July 06, 2005

US National seminar in Las Vegas2

The theme of the US National seminar was "Universal mind".

We recognize the universe with a self centered viewpoint. This is important to live in this world, however, if we see things only from this way, there will be a problem. This applies not only to Ki-aikido but also human relationships.

For example, when we do Ki-Aikido, everyone has a mind such as "I want to throw my partner." "I want to move others as I like." "I want to impact others." If you have those self centered thoughts, you will not be able to lead your partner when you do Ki-aikido technique.

Based on the 5 principles of Aikido with mind and body unification, if you move with your partner, you will be able to lead your partner. The Universal mind means that you become one with the universe and move together with your partner. If you have a self centered mind and try to move others, this is not a Universal mind.

It is our fundamental to master Universal mind not only for Ki-Aikido but for education and human relationships.

5 principles of Aikido with mind and body unification
1. Ki is extending
2. Know your opponentユs Ki
3. Respect your opponentユs place
4. Put yourself in your opponentユs place
5. Perform with confidence

I taught the Universal mind through Ki-Aikido technique and Ki breathing in this five days seminar. It is important to understand Ki-Aikido technique through experience, therefore, I taught each participants directly. Not only that, I taught the participants to teach others correctly.

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Participants said that their viewpoint hads been changed. It seems that each of their understandings were connected and they learned learned tremendously. I will introduce participant's reports on this weblog soon.

Many of the participants are planning to attend World Camp this October in Ki no Sato. This is the only chance to study with overseas students in Japan. Therefore, we hope many of you will attend the World Camp.

The 2006 US National seminar will be held at Oregon next year and 2007 US National seminar will be held at Maryland. Japanese students are able to attend the seminar.

I might have learned the most. My English skills grew tremendously. I will take English test in September. I would like to take the test now :)

I really appreciate your giving me such a wonderful opportunity.

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July 01, 2005

National seminar in Las Vegas

I taught at the US National seminar for five days in Las Vegas. The seminar was held from Wednesday June 22nd to Sunday 26th . About 180 students (mainly instructors) attended from all over the US. Besides the US, there were participants who came from Canada, UK, Brazil and Japan.

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The US national seminar had been managed by one of the Ki societies in the US before. However, this yearユs seminar was held under the auspices of all US Ki Societies for the first time. Therefore, Las Vegas was chosen because this is the most convenient place to travel to, a comfortable stay and reasonably pricede.

The seminar place was Alexis Park Resort which is for resort stay. Because there is no casino in the hotel. This is rare in Las Vegas. The seminar room was in the banquet room with 200 tatami mats. I felt that we stayed in a camp for training.

On June 22, we had as Chief instructors' seminar in the morning, and instructorsユ seminar in the afternoon. From Thursday June 23rd to Sunday 26th there was open seminars for all participants. We had Ki testing in the morning on Saturday June 25th and Sunday 26th we had Ki class. We had a banquet in the evening on June 25.

The seminar was a great success. Just before end of the seminar, some participants cried because they did not want the seminar to end. I was very moved . Through the effort made by staff of the event and instructors' , all of the participantsユ minds became one. I realized many things. Of course, I taught Ki principles in English, so my English improved a lot. Above all, I was so happy to practice hand in hand with every participants.

Thank you very much for giving me such a wonderful opportunity.

I will tell you more stories about Las Vegas in this weblog.

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